Recently I received rather interesting feedback from a few different sources regarding A Fashionating Life. That feedback was this: They did not see as much motherhood as they thought they would on our blog. It was just an observation and not meant negatively in any way. But it did get me thinking because, as I said, the comments left me fairly curious.

Part of me did wonder why they thought they would see a lot of motherhood on a blog that is meant to be a fashion and empowerment site? Our mission – Encouraging women in their 40s and beyond to feel empowered by fashion in their everyday lives. Inspiring women to embrace their personal style and see clothes as a powerful tool in the story they tell the world – does not include the word mother, mom, or any other configuration of the moniker. Is it because once a woman becomes a mom, it is hard for anyone, herself included, to see themselves as anything other than that? 

Which leads me to the next couple of points.

I can’t say that the lack of motherhood posts is 100% by choice, but it is something we talked about when we were first pinpointing the point of view of the blog and the community of women we wanted to attract. And if we go back to the mission of the blog once again, the important part was appealing to 40-year-old women and older. Women who are feeling invisible for many reasons, one of which being they forgot how it feels to not be someone’s mother.

Motherhood does not define our style. We did not “give up” anything when we became mothers. Did we cut back on wearing high heels and add less dry clean only to our closets? Yes. Can we get out the door faster than we ever thought possible before we became moms and discovered hacks to make the most of getting ready time? Yes ma’am. But ultimately we want to be women who have great style, not women who have great style….for a couple of moms.  

In addition, motherhood and children are VERY loaded topics at any age and can be a source of heartbreak and conflict for so many women, especially the older they get. We wanted to be cognizant of that.

The 40s are when the biological clock begins to stop ticking….literally. If you are a woman whose dreams of becoming a mom have not yet been fulfilled, this is a particularly painful time in your life. We would hate it if a woman came here looking for outfit inspiration only to be reminded that we are moms and she isn’t.  

We are also two women who realize and respect that not all women want to be mothers. If you are a woman in your 40s and content in your child-free choice, then you probably get/have gotten a lot of grief from family, friends, coworkers, your neighborhood grocer, strangers on the street, and so on. The last thing you need is to feel any pressure from a fashion blog you came to for empowering style tips.

All that being said, I am about to basically negate all of that with pictures of my two guys. This week’s post was supposed to be about how my eldest just turned 17** and it finally dawned on me that for all intents and purposes, he is leaving the nest in a year. This was supposed to be a post with tips on savoring the time I have left and a list of all the things I want to do with him, teach him, etc. I will still write that post, but not only was I more inspired to write this one, the one about my son leaving was just a bit too much on this momma’s heart presently. I would love it if any moms out there have any advice for getting through this!       

This is a space for 40 something (and beyond) women. All women. Whether they are mothers or not. Whether they have careers or not. Are married or not. We want you to come here to feel accepted and seen for who you are and get whatever validation you need to go out and define yourself on your own terms.   

**Including pics of my little guy because he gets a tad bit jealous of his big brother…..




Images by Breezy Ritter